What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What kind of person makes you think "how come there are people like that"?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why did it take seven days for troops with helicopters, equipment, supplies, food, and water to be dispatched to southeast storm zones?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

How come Taiwan is LGBT friendly, yet Japan and South Korea are not?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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What is love?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Is it true that all men want a woman who looks like an Instagram “model”?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What is the significance of Pete Rose, the all-time hits leader in Major League Baseball, who just passed away?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why don't men find fat women attractive?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Can a mother forget her child after she puts him or her up for adoption?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What do you think about Matt Gatz as an attorney general?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What is the most memorable thing that happened in your college days?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Does being poor build better character than being born rich?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.